Weather Updates

Husband wants girl’s night out to end

Updated: November 17, 2012 6:05AM

Dear Abby: My wife and I have been married for eight months. She has an occasional habit that makes me wonder whether we got married too young. (She’s 23, I’m 27.)

She likes to go out with a group of her friends from high school or with her sister and her sister’s friends, get drunk and stay the night. It doesn’t happen all the time — several times a year. I try not to be the controlling husband and say she “can’t” go out. But it bothers me that she wants to spend the night with her single friends and get drunk. If I try to talk to her about it, she gets angry.

I don’t understand why her socializing always has to involve drinking and staying out all night. Am I being controlling? What should I do?

Getting Frustrated In Pontiac, Mich.

Dear Getting Frustrated: Your wife appears to be trying to hold onto her carefree single days, and it’s a shame she can’t do that without getting herself soused and staying out all night. On the other hand, if she’s in no condition to get behind the wheel, then it’s better that she not drive until she sobers up.

I don’t think saying what’s on your mind is “controlling.” I suspect your wife becomes angry because she is defensive. Her behavior is immature, and how long it will take her to outgrow this “phase” is anybody’s guess. I recommend that you both widen your circle of friends so you spend more time with other married couples who are more mature than your wife’s sister and high school friends appear to be.

Dear Abby: Just when I thought I had everything, from the house with the white picket fence to the family dog and children, I have learned something about my husband.

As I was cleaning out a closet, I came across his old briefcase, which I opened to see if anything of importance was inside before tossing it. To my shock, there were photos and a DVD of what seemed like pornography of himself and other women.

I can respect past relationships, but having done something like this and kept the evidence is very troubling to me. When I try to talk to him, he brushes me off. I feel betrayed, unsure who I married. What do you advise?

Confused In California

Dear Confused: How old does your husband appear to be in those photos? If they are recent, then it is important that you get to the bottom of this — and counseling may help you find the answers you’re looking for.

However, if they are NOT recent, let the past stay buried. Some women keep old love letters long after the romance is over. And some men keep old pictures like the ones you found.

Write to Dear Abby at

© 2014 Sun-Times Media, LLC. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied or distributed without permission. For more information about reprints and permissions, visit To order a reprint of this article, click here.