Speed cameras coming to your town soon

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Updated: March 8, 2012 8:10AM

This just in: Gov. Quinn signed legislation Monday authorizing “speed cameras” to be set up in the city of Chicago as of July 1.

We can now expect speed cameras in Lake County in 3, 2, 1 ...

Way back in October, when the speed-camera concept started worming its way through Springfield, I went on record as opposed to this latest example of Big Brother’s telescreen. A daring position, I know, considering the only people in favor of automated law enforcement are municipal accountants and the elected officials they answer to when filling the yawning gaps of a budget.

As with most public cash cows, the devil is in the details when it comes to these cameras that will be installed in school zones and around parks. For example, if you drive by a park at 11:55 p.m. — or within an hour after closing time, as specified by the new law — and you’re going, say, 31 mph, that’s a $100 ticket.

When you cough up that nasty sum in the midst of a recession, just remind yourself that the city was only trying to protect children, who, of course, routinely play in a closed park five minutes before midnight.

And remember the old saw about a school speed limit applying “on school days when children are present”? Welcome to a world — or, at least for now, a city — where you can get a $50 ticket, issued by a camera, for going just 26 mph past a school at any time from 6 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday and 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. on Friday.

True, some kids walk to school really early, and others stay late for sports or dances. Doesn’t matter. The speed camera will nail you even when they’re long gone after a half-day, and/or the school is as dormant as a brownfield factory.

What it boils down to is that you, the otherwise boring and normal citizen who is completely in favor of keeping children safe, will get a speeding ticket from a camera at some point in your future, and you won’t even be aware that you had been speeding. It is a when-not-if proposition.

You’ll note that I didn’t specify whether or not you drive in the city of Chicago. If you do, budget for the tickets now for expenditures later this year. If you don’t, set up a savings account for when speed cameras bleed into the suburbs like crabgrass.